Does it feel like sometimes you just can’t get ahead? No matter what you do, it’s “One step forward and two steps back.” You have set out the best laid plans for getting ahead. You know exactly how the week is going to go. You have prepared for the interview and know you are going to nail it, then later in the afternoon you are going to hit the gym. Six months from now you are going to have those six pack abs, a new job and will be working on learning Mandarin Chinese. Why Mandarin Chinese? Just because that s**t sounds cool.
Fast forward six months, yep, you landed the job, but it has kept you so busy you haven’t hit the gym, in fact you are pretty sure you have covered those abs with at least another 1/4” of fatty protection. Going out for Chinese food is about as close to learning Mandarin as you have gotten. So, you are a bit better off financially, the opportunities for advancement may be a bit limited but it pays the bills. You will set a goal to start eating better next month. And, Mandarin Chinese is now learning the phrases on the back of the fortune cookies.
You hope one day you can find the time to do these things, in addition to the rest of that bucket list, but in the end it just feels like you will never really get there. You are left thinking, how do some people manage to do all this, maybe they just aren’t as busy as you. The real problem though may not be the “busy”, the real problem may be the “balance”. Life is a delicate balance of 6 key dimensions, like spokes in a wheel. The amount of time, energy or focus that you spend in each dimension determine the length of each “spoke”. When the spokes are uneven, too much in one area or too little it creates an uneven, or flat, wheel. And just like a flat tire on a car or bike, the journey or trip you plan to make becomes more difficult, sometimes impossible.
The video that follows shows you more about the six dimensions and how a coach can help you find the balancing of the wheel so that not only can you crush that new job, rock those new abs, but you can do so while bragging about it in Mandarin Chinese…so, take a look. Maybe together we can get the wheel of life rolling smooth!
Not that I have a large following, a thriving practice or even a list of subscribers that have missed me…but just in case you were wondering… I was gone for awhile.
Life got in the way.
Rather… I let life get in my way. You see, if you know me at all, have read my posts, seen my website, or follow me on FB or Instragram (Shad Lee, 1 Percent Living or Shad Morgheim), you will likely have heard that I am a life coach. Currently I am unretained life coach… to which “going away for awhile” is a poor business plan. I have this vision of what I am working 1% everyday to accomplish. It is a Life Coach/Public speaker who helps those find their passion in life. Once defined, then we work to map the steps to achieve that vision to fulfill that passion. Helping others find purpose and experience the most enriching life they can define is what brings me an enormous sense of pride.
So…I have this vision…my future, spending hours each week helping others to obtain goals of all kinds. In addition, I have this strong vision to be an inspiration for those in mid life to be an example that health and fitness can occur at any age. SO…that is my 1% focus most days…until…life got in the way.
As I said, I am not making a living yet coaching and I am a far site away from being the worldwide inspiration of health and fitness that is bankable in any sense. So I have to work to feed my dreams, to feed my family, to pay college tuitions, to afford my bacon and Fireball habits. As we all do, I had a multitude of priorities sitting on my plate, so the things I needed to do to fuel my vision, to drive my passions, took a back seat. Physically, I backed away from my exercise schedules and backed into too many bacon samplings.
Professionally, I made my job my primary focus.
This was life, day to day life, meant to pay the bills, keep us housed, and clothes on our backs. This life that I put as my only priority is not bad at all. I have a good job, working for an amazing company. As a family, we moved into a new home, downsizing into something a bit more conducive to our lifestyle. As a family, we enjoy date nights, we enjoy family game nights, we enjoying dining out. To the everyday observer…I have a great life and I would agree, I have a fantastic life.
So, what’s the problem then with “life getting in my way”? The problem is one I think the majority of us fall into. We live a life that is “good enough”, a life where we are “satisfied”. We talk about a life that is “blessed” or “lucky”. But if we look hard enough is that the life you really want to live? Is “satisfied” what you want to be, or do you want to be excited by each days events. Do we want to be “lucky” or do we want to “step into our destiny”? Do we want to simply live life or do we want to experience life?
Does the life you live today fit the vision you have for yourself?
Are you fulfilling your passion(s), not just professionally, but in all dimensions of wellness. Do you fill your passions/purpose: professionally, intellectually, socially, spiritually, purposefully, emotionally? For me, the answer is no, not according to what I have envisioned for myself in each of those areas. I know what I see when I look deep inside at what the fulfilled Shad looks like and failing to dedicate 1% each day to achieve that version of me, meant I let life get in my way.
AND…that is just fine. It is just fine, because I recognized that I stepped off the path that I was heading down and have committed myself to step back on the path. It is fine because I realized, something felt “off” the last several weeks, while I was gone. I realized I was not pursuing my passions.
When we aren’t purposely working toward our passions, our balance in life gets out of alignment.
During that time, we can get impatient, fall into self-sabotage, consume ourselves with self-fulfilling limitations. So, it is fine, more so, it is great that I realized something was “off” and determined that my not working toward my true life was the cause for being off. Now the work comes, to get back toward fulfilling my vision. To experience life, but to not let life get in my way.
We all know deep down who we are called to be, what we want to experience and what we ultimately would love to do in life. If we know what that is and are living a life that is getting in the way of that true self, that true passion, now is the time to make changes. Now is the time to step on a path toward that deeper life, one that goes from satisfying to one that is thrilling. I owe that to myself, I owe that to my spouse, and I owe that to my children, friends and family. Furthermore, you owe it to yourself. Deep down you know what you want, what you have always desired to do, see, and experience.
So make the step, 1% at a time to obtain that vision.
Make no mistake, my life is great. The people in my life are great, but when I fully step into my full vision of what I can achieve, not just I, but all the people in my life will benefit.
So yep…I was gone for awhile. Life got me for a second, now back on the path to start LIVING again!
With St. Patrick’s Day recently passed a few weeks ago, I thought it might be the perfect time to talk about the party and the… Party of Life. Personally, I am a “wee” bit pass the days of green beer and out all night. St. Patrick’s day night we did go out to dinner at a restaurant that offered a bottomless liter of green beer for $20. I passed…not because I don’t drink (you all know I love Stella and Fireball, @stellaartois & @fireballwhisky, sponsor me please ????). I passed because 1 liter, refilled at 7pm means I am in bed at 9 pm. Not really the energy I want to show up with on a Saturday night.
So Who are You…
Much like you plan what you will wear on St. Patrick’s day, what time you will arrive, who you will talk to…who you might flirt with…yes we all flirt…you also plan how you show up in life. Unlike the party which is a specific and limited event, life is daily. Life may be a grind, other times it is a breeze. Some days the talk, maybe even the flirt, is natural. Other days it seems like life is English as a second language and you are only in day three of “Second Language” class.
Also like a party, you see your fellow “life” party goers and without a doubt there is the one loud guy running around with a lamp shade on his head, slapping everyone on the back. There is a small group of people anchored to the safety of the sofa. Texting someone about how boring this is and how annoying the guy with the lamp shade is acting. More than likely there is someone who has overindulged and is currently paying the toll in front of the porcelain throne…in the party of life, they are all there. The question is … which party goer are you? More importantly is that the party goer you really want to be and is this the party you wanted to attend?!
Well This Wasn’t the Party I Thought it was Going to Be.
You finally were invited to the party you wanted to attend. You map out the people you will talk to, prepare your witty conversations. You get there and 30 minutes in this is not what you thought it was going to be…so now what do you do? You really were going to be the party animal you always wanted to be, you have a sitter for the night, you are free and in the time it takes to watch a sitcom you are ready to bail. At this point you have two options, make the best of it or bail on it…
But Wait, There IsA Third Option
Option number three, is totally on you. Option three is the energy you have brought to the party and how you use that to make the party, the party of your life. In life, we present with a combination of seven different levels of energy. This unique combination of energy levels range from the highly negative (catabolic) to the highly engaging (anabolic). The most catabolic level, level one, is that of a victim. “Only I could be invited to the worlds most boring party”. As energy becomes more engaging, we start to move to, “I am the only one who is interesting in this party”. Then we become more engaging to “It would be great if everyone has fun, but only if I have the most fun.”
These levels, though, are all focused on me and me only. When the focus is only on me…there is limited opportunity to make the most of the party or life in general. If things do not go the way you planned, the party wasn’t what you thought it would be, then you see little way to make things better. You simply don’t see the opportunity to improve the situation.
Moving Away from “Me” to “We”
As you continue to move up in energy levels, you move toward an approach of “We”. In the fourth energy level you begin to think, “How can I get other people to have fun here”, with the fifth level of energy being, “We aren’t going to party until we all have fun at the party”. In these levels of energy, we make the shift to bringing others along on our journey with the subtle difference that the fifth level we all need to benefit where as the fourth level the other people are the higher priority to gain benefit.
Moving Toward the Highest Levels of Energy – THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF SUCCESS
In the two most engaging energy levels, people move away from the situation, away from “me” or “we”. At these levels energy moves toward simply enjoying the experience at the party without judging it good or bad. Just being in the moment and at the highest energy level, we are in “the zone” and automatically can change the tone of the party just by interacting with people and know exactly what to do next to make the party, a party of a lifetime. In this highest energy level, this is this time in space where time slows down, things move in slow motion and you can almost predict the next step, the next conversation, the next activity.
You are All These Levels Combined
The key to the party is where you choose to spend the most time in each energy level. Do you choose to be the victim of such a boring party? Do you decide you are the only one to make this party fun? Or do you decide that we all can have fun, how to get everyone involved? Do you simply just enjoy the experience and see the opportunity to have fun with no labeling of good or bad? The third option is you. You can decide what you want the party to be. Simply identify what level you are spending your energy in and consciously decide to be the most engaging level possible.
The “Life of the Party” or “The Party of Life”
Much like planning out the next big party, we plan how we want to party in Life. The energy expended in life will determine how much “party” we will get out of life. Is your energy spent on just “me”, are you focusing solely on the “we”? Or are you focusing on the experience of life, the opportunities that are presented to you and how those opportunities help you achieve that passion and sense of fulfillment you have set as your personal goal.
The question is, How are you showing up to the Party of Life? Is that really how you want to experience the party or is there more that you want to get from that party. If there is more, then where are you spending that energy and what can you do to change that energy into a higher level so that you can experience the party you wanted to experience. You and you alone can define what life holds for you and how you show up…so I ask again, How do you show up to the Party…of life?
The role I play in your Party…
If you find you can’t determine the way to move toward engaging energy levels that the Party of Life holds, that is where someone like a Life Coach steps in. Think of the Life Coach as your personal party planner. Through our work, we figure out how you want to show up to the party. We determine through assessments and work what energy level you present the most. Then we explore how that level is holding you back. Finally, we work together to change the energy level to the highest potential for the best possible party and life going experience! So if you find you aren’t showing up to the party the way you want to, remember that you control how great the experience is going to be. If you can not figure out how to make the party memorable, then lets talk. Because nothing is better in life than a great party….lamp shades and all!