With St. Patrick’s Day recently passed a few weeks ago, I thought it might be the perfect time to talk about the party and the… Party of Life. Personally, I am a “wee” bit pass the days of green beer and out all night. St. Patrick’s day night we did go out to dinner at a restaurant that offered a bottomless liter of green beer for $20. I passed…not because I don’t drink (you all know I love Stella and Fireball, @stellaartois & @fireballwhisky, sponsor me please ????). I passed because 1 liter, refilled at 7pm means I am in bed at 9 pm. Not really the energy I want to show up with on a Saturday night.
So Who are You…
Much like you plan what you will wear on St. Patrick’s day, what time you will arrive, who you will talk to…who you might flirt with…yes we all flirt…you also plan how you show up in life. Unlike the party which is a specific and limited event, life is daily. Life may be a grind, other times it is a breeze. Some days the talk, maybe even the flirt, is natural. Other days it seems like life is English as a second language and you are only in day three of “Second Language” class.
Also like a party, you see your fellow “life” party goers and without a doubt there is the one loud guy running around with a lamp shade on his head, slapping everyone on the back. There is a small group of people anchored to the safety of the sofa. Texting someone about how boring this is and how annoying the guy with the lamp shade is acting. More than likely there is someone who has overindulged and is currently paying the toll in front of the porcelain throne…in the party of life, they are all there. The question is … which party goer are you? More importantly is that the party goer you really want to be and is this the party you wanted to attend?!
Well This Wasn’t the Party I Thought it was Going to Be.
You finally were invited to the party you wanted to attend. You map out the people you will talk to, prepare your witty conversations. You get there and 30 minutes in this is not what you thought it was going to be…so now what do you do? You really were going to be the party animal you always wanted to be, you have a sitter for the night, you are free and in the time it takes to watch a sitcom you are ready to bail. At this point you have two options, make the best of it or bail on it…
But Wait, There Is A Third Option
Option number three, is totally on you. Option three is the energy you have brought to the party and how you use that to make the party, the party of your life. In life, we present with a combination of seven different levels of energy. This unique combination of energy levels range from the highly negative (catabolic) to the highly engaging (anabolic). The most catabolic level, level one, is that of a victim. “Only I could be invited to the worlds most boring party”. As energy becomes more engaging, we start to move to, “I am the only one who is interesting in this party”. Then we become more engaging to “It would be great if everyone has fun, but only if I have the most fun.”
These levels, though, are all focused on me and me only. When the focus is only on me…there is limited opportunity to make the most of the party or life in general. If things do not go the way you planned, the party wasn’t what you thought it would be, then you see little way to make things better. You simply don’t see the opportunity to improve the situation.
Moving Away from “Me” to “We”
As you continue to move up in energy levels, you move toward an approach of “We”. In the fourth energy level you begin to think, “How can I get other people to have fun here”, with the fifth level of energy being, “We aren’t going to party until we all have fun at the party”. In these levels of energy, we make the shift to bringing others along on our journey with the subtle difference that the fifth level we all need to benefit where as the fourth level the other people are the higher priority to gain benefit.
Moving Toward the Highest Levels of Energy – THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF SUCCESS
In the two most engaging energy levels, people move away from the situation, away from “me” or “we”. At these levels energy moves toward simply enjoying the experience at the party without judging it good or bad. Just being in the moment and at the highest energy level, we are in “the zone” and automatically can change the tone of the party just by interacting with people and know exactly what to do next to make the party, a party of a lifetime. In this highest energy level, this is this time in space where time slows down, things move in slow motion and you can almost predict the next step, the next conversation, the next activity.
You are All These Levels Combined
The key to the party is where you choose to spend the most time in each energy level. Do you choose to be the victim of such a boring party? Do you decide you are the only one to make this party fun? Or do you decide that we all can have fun, how to get everyone involved? Do you simply just enjoy the experience and see the opportunity to have fun with no labeling of good or bad? The third option is you. You can decide what you want the party to be. Simply identify what level you are spending your energy in and consciously decide to be the most engaging level possible.
The “Life of the Party” or “The Party of Life”
Much like planning out the next big party, we plan how we want to party in Life. The energy expended in life will determine how much “party” we will get out of life. Is your energy spent on just “me”, are you focusing solely on the “we”? Or are you focusing on the experience of life, the opportunities that are presented to you and how those opportunities help you achieve that passion and sense of fulfillment you have set as your personal goal.
The question is, How are you showing up to the Party of Life? Is that really how you want to experience the party or is there more that you want to get from that party. If there is more, then where are you spending that energy and what can you do to change that energy into a higher level so that you can experience the party you wanted to experience. You and you alone can define what life holds for you and how you show up…so I ask again, How do you show up to the Party…of life?
The role I play in your Party…
If you find you can’t determine the way to move toward engaging energy levels that the Party of Life holds, that is where someone like a Life Coach steps in. Think of the Life Coach as your personal party planner. Through our work, we figure out how you want to show up to the party. We determine through assessments and work what energy level you present the most. Then we explore how that level is holding you back. Finally, we work together to change the energy level to the highest potential for the best possible party and life going experience! So if you find you aren’t showing up to the party the way you want to, remember that you control how great the experience is going to be. If you can not figure out how to make the party memorable, then lets talk. Because nothing is better in life than a great party….lamp shades and all!